– This is stupid.
– You are stupid.
– Come on, let’s be real for a minute.
– Please. This is complete nonsense.
– All! All of this !
– Shut up.
Have you ever been into a conversation where nobody’s listening to anyone and everybody keeps repeating desperately the same thing over and over? Where sounds are raising like a Berlin Wall between each person involved? I’m sure you did.
Yesterday’s night happened to be the case for me. We were there, three friends around the table, sharing diner, when a sensitive subject came in. The kind of subject where you cannot convince people around, because it’s not a matter of how well you can explain your point of view, it’s just a matter of inner conviction. The kind of topic where there is no wrong and no right, there are just different perspectives.
We came to a point where two of us were almost joining the same position when the third one was facing us like we were outrageously lying to ourselves. This situation lasted until I suggested to change the subject to calm us down. When I thought we were getting over it, I could see one of us typing frenetically on her phone. “What are you doing?” said the other one, “responding to a text message.” she answered. Few minutes later, it all came back to normal and we were laughing again.
This is only after we all split that I stumbled upon the twitter page of the girl, later that night, and I saw a tweet, a bit insulting, saying that she was, at that time, sitting with people who were saying dumb things, giving examples. I looked for the time of posting and understood it was tweeted when she got caught on her phone.
At that very specific moment, I felt bad for two main reasons. One, I was upset that such a tweet was made about me (even if my name was not mentioned). Second, I got mad that this was written during our argument, as I understood that she was in reality not responding to any text message but only revealing to the whole world our divergences. What I thought to be a private moment seemed, at this time, inviting anyone to get involved.
After a good night of sleep, I realized that this was not so serious and that I was just hurt that something I shared with her in my home was thrown on the public space. I was more hurt by the feeling of disrespect than anything else.
And then, it hit me. Why did she feel like it was the good thing to do? Why did she feel the urge to tweet our conversation? I guessed that this was maybe a way to escape or to find support in this moment where she was alone facing us. She was probably sure that she would find help in her virtual community and that this would south her mind.
Unfortunately I don’t know if this was a good thing for her. Social Medias seem to be a great tool to find the support we can’t find at home but in the same way, those are the best escape to avoid facing other’s opinion. Instead of letting go and accepting the fact that people cannot agree on every subject, she decided to hang on a virtual reality to make sure that she was right, at least near her twitter friends. Of course they were on her side, as the tweet was not giving any credit to my opinion, cutting the explanations and adding degrading adjectives.
I felt like a bad drawing was made about me for everyone to see. It was like Jack decided to draw Rose naked, minus the good look and the heart of the ocean.
Internet is supposed to link people together and it seems to do it quite well with Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. This event made me realize that virtual reality can be a sweet cocoon where it is easier to sit instead of working on ourselves to build bridges with people who are different than us. Instead of mixing some water into our wine and finding compromises, it seems that we turn a bit more our back to each other, others who are physically standing right in front of us.
This night, I felt like social media was also the best way to tear us apart.
And you, what do you think? Dear reader, take care.