I don’t know if I’m a believer or not. Sometimes, believing in God seems to be easy and comfortable, sometimes, it seems unbearable. I still don’t know If the so-called “afterlife” exists and I suppose I won’t know until I find out myself.
Three days ago, I watched a video on Youtube about how the soul evolves if we decide to end our life. I don’t really remember much about what was said, I guess I didn’t keep on track very long.
I went to the comment section, expecting to see many comments about God, religion and maybe atheism. Actually, I was surprised by the number of comments regarding depression, suicidal thoughts and guilt about getting to an end.
Particularly, I saw one comment by a young girl, expressing her suffering. I was even more shocked by the replies, all about the same.
People were gathering around the fact that their lives were not worthy. I stumbled upon one comment, where the person said that she was clearly thinking about leaving this world. Nobody answered to her. This comment was there, floating in the air, like a call for help, like a bottle in the sea, without any receiver.
I hesitated for a second, wondering what I could write to her, and I gathered all of my forces to type some words just for her. I told her that whatever her believes are, life is unfair to many of us, for a fact.
I told her that if she decided to end the game just now, she was not allowing herself to live all of the experiences coming in her direction, especially the good ones. I told her that we could see experiences as strokes or as opportunities to learn about the world, the others and ourselves. I tried to ignite a light, enhance a bit of hope and show her that even in despair, someone can help.
She responded in a short paragraph, explaining to me what she was going through and that she was not lucky. She didn’t ask for domestic violence, she didn’t ask for depression, she didn’t ask for diminishing behaviors coming from her family and friends.
She was clearly a victim of others but more importantly, she seemed to be the victim of herself.
I asked her if she was daring to ask for respect, if she dared to say “no”. “No” to belittling words, “no” to violence, “no” to any lack of respect. She said that she was shy and that indeed, she was not the strong-yelling type of person. She said that her education didn’t help her to define what is acceptable or not, and I trusted her.
After few exchanges, I told her that this was normal to live this kind of experience when we do not have any self-esteem. I said that she was not responsible of her current life’s choices in the way that she acted the way she was taught to. I told her that her life could change if she was ready to stand up and act for the life she wanted.
She thanked me in very long message, saying she would seek for medical help. She said she didn’t expect a stranger to give her this kind of attention. She was touched and willing to hold on to this new hope.
I don’t know if she did reach a psychiatrist. I don’t know if I truly helped her. But I least I tried.
This day was a good day.
If you are going through a rough patch yourself, you’re not alone, many people can help. Please, remember that today is temporary and tomorrow is someplace else. Who knows all the good things which are coming forward for you? Are you willing to miss them all?